Monday, November 8, 2010

Ginger Darling

"Do you have a low blue and white bowl to put a plant in?"

"No, the only blue and white porcelain we carry are the ginger jars."

"Yes, I know about them, I didn't ask you about them."

"No, I dont have anything blue and white and low."

"What happened is ,I have this plant,I had it in a blue and white container that was knocked over, courtesy of the four legged one and i cant put it back on the windowsill, that would just be asking for it, so what I need is a low bowl in chinese blue and white."

"I'm sorry, I don't have anything like that. "

"Pottery Barn sent me over, they thought you might have what I want."

"We dont."

"Where else would you suggest?"

(I would suggest that you are crazy,that we call you crazy cat lady and I would suggest that you leave.)

"Um, try Pearl River Mart downtown on Grand street,they have alot of blue and white Chinese ceramics."

"Oh thats CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is a bunch of CRAP!!!!!!!! Why would anyone go down there? "

(ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh goooooooooooooooooooooddddddddddddddd whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyare you so crraaazzzzzyyyyy when we are closing in 5 minutes!!!!?????)" We don't have it".

"I mean that is utterly ridiculous that you would suggest that anyone go all the way to Grand street when Madison avenue is right here. This is ridiculous. I don't know who you think you're dealing with."

"You're right,this is ridiculous. I don't have what you want. I'm sorry."

And with that delightful retail exchange,crazy cat lady (as we have dubbed her because she has brought her cat INTO the store with her to shop-hence cat. And because she is known in other stores as crazy cat lady and because she is the most combative, cursing belligerent wonder I have ever laid eyes on,hence- CRAZY), all 4'10" of her, shuffled/stormed out of the store,leaving behind a mist of bitterness and the odor of someone unable to be pleasant under very pleasant circumstances.)

God help me.

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